I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
