Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
