My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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