Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
