i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just had sex on a roof
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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