Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
