bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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