Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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