Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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