lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
