I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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