Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
