shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
