Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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