i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
