Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
