it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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