I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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