just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
now i know why i became what i already was.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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