she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
