just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I forget how to act sober
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
