Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Randomize
