yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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