# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
