Sry I called you an 8
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
