i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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