never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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