i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
