yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
