we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
