It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
