It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
