Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
