I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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