I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
