I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
