Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
