"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
