i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
