I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
