I am in a vortex of obligation.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
