Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
