he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
