I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize