Kiss
Puke
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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