I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
