just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
