I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
