Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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