I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
