Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
we're so committed to being not committed
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